2013 has been a pivotal year for me.
2013 has taught me a great deal about who I really am and what my intentions truly are. I am a Child of the Universe (sorry, that is SO Desiderata!), and my intentions are to be a conduit of unconditional love and healing power channeled from the Universal Source that has so many names in addition to the name GOD.
This blog is part of those intentions.
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Somebody asked me, “Are you ready for the New Year?”
I replied, “The question is, is the New Year ready for ME?”.
We’ll just see, won’t we?

TXTG S GTG A BD RAP. PPL THK TXTG S KILLG CMNCTN. WTF? IDK. U?

I ♥TXTG. I’ve always loved typing anyway; touch typing is the only thing I learned in high school that has been of any real use to me in my life. Plus, my handwriting is atrociously illegible even though I resorted to printing decades ago. I had to give up cursive when I realized that even I couldn’t read mine.
I ♥TXTG. The impersonality of communicating through a keyboard releases me from the social shyness that hinders my face to face interactions.
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I ♥TXTG. I can compose a text when I have time to fully express myself, and the receiver can read the text when she has time to focus on it. I can complete my thought without interruption. There is no pressure on the receiver to respond immediately; she has time to consider how to fully express her response and then make that response also without interruption. It’s an extension of the custom of passing around a “talking stick” during discussions.
I ♥TXTG. It forces us all to be more succinct. It dispenses with small talk, goes to the heart of the matter, cuts the crap.
I ♥TXTG. It’s FUN! It’s like being back in junior high school, passing secret notes back and forth under the desk. It’s especially delicious when you are texting your sweetie, sending hot little messages back and forth, while maintaining a serious demeanor so that the people around you think you are taking care of business with the office or your agent. Try flirting by text today!
– C U L8R –

The Old Lady and the Purple Dragon went adventuring today!
First we went to Live Oak, Florida, where I have never been, and I do so love going somewhere brand new. We did a Mystery Shop (more about Mystery Shopping later), checked out the public library in Live Oak, and then started back north for home.
On the way down US 129 I had seen a sign for Suwannee Springs, pointing down a side road after the highway crossed the Suwannee River. So on my way back, I took that side road.
At the dead end of the road is the Suwannee Springs Recreation Area. This is where the first tourist destination in Florida was established in the 1800s with bathhouses and hotels. The waters were thought to be healthful, especially for ailments of the kidneys.
There are six separate springs that feed the Suwannee River here, with the main spring bubbling up among the stone ruins of one of the bathouses. The water is not stinky sulphur, more like sulphur lite, with just a hint of an eggy scent. It tastes lovely. All the rocks and plants in the springbed are crusted with minerals in various pastel green shades.
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What a fine afternoon! What a fine reward for taking a little time to turn off the highway, to find out what’s down that side road, to see what that rusted sign is pointing towards.
Adventures are where you find them. Get out and find one today.

Starting my own blog is, for a technological neanderthal like myself, an incredible leap into the 21st century.  I couldn’t have done it by myself, so here’s my “thank you” list:

Thank you to iPages which is my web host, and to the two patient young techies who explained things to me in the middle of the night in language even I could understand.

Thank you to WordPress, which makes blogging easy and fun.
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And thank you to my Spiritual Director, who miraculously provided me with a used laptop at just the right moment for me to start blogging.

I’m on the World Wide Web!  Thanks be to God!

So, the Old Lady was at work the other day… what’s that, kiddies?  The Old Lady has a JOB???

Sure she does!  You don’t think I’m making a living writing, do you?  Ever heard the term “starving artist?”

Old people work too.  You may have an elderly grandpa retired in Florida who works as a bagboy at Publix or an auntie who shelves books at the library, and don’t kid yourself with that crap they give you about “I was bored, I just needed something to get me out of the house.”  That’s what Mah-Jongg is for.  Truth is, they work because they need the money.  You know how hard it is to keep putting gas in the Toyota.  They do too.

ANY-way (as that cute little Ellen Degeneres says) the Old Lady was working at the drugstore where they persist in assigning her to the bowels of the Cosmetics Department.

Now, the Old Lady has never worn makeup in her life – why gild the lily? she figures – so she is totally at sea without a compass here.

First, the colors seem calculated to confuse.  Did you know that beige comes in shades?  There is not just Beige, but also Natural Beige, Medium Beige, Honey Beige, Warm Beige, Tawny Beige, NUDE Beige – that last one makes the Old Lady blush, she wants to keep it behind the counter, it just smacks of public indecency!

Conflicting claims are confusing, too.  One product promises “maximum shimmer” but another is guaranteed “shine free.”  Seems you should shop with a thesaurus.  (After I wrote that, the Purple Dragon got very excited – she thinks a thesaurus is a wordy sort of dinosaur, and she demanded to know if dinosaurs get to go shopping then why don’t dragons?  I had to tell her that smoking is not permitted inside the store.)

But I digress.

There is a product called “Age Defying with DNA Advantage Makeup.”  Let’s skip the “Age Defying” part – what we’re defying here is logic, ladies – and address the DNA Advantage part.  If you really believe that there is human genetic material in that bottle, then I’ve got some lovely waterfront property out in the Okefenokee Subdivision that I’ll sell to you for cheap.
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“16 Hour Eyeshadow?”  The Old Lady is doing well if she can keep her eyes open for 16 straight hours.

“Plumping Lipgloss?”  What, we’re supposed to have skinny hips but fat lips are okay?  Did I miss that memo?

Some of this stuff, you can’t even figure out what it’s for.  “Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain” – what part of the body do you use that on?  And the “Retractable Chubby Crayon” – does this REALLY belong in Cosmetics or should it go with the coloring books over in Toys?

There’s also a “Crayon Concealer” that promises to “conceal any imperfection.”  The Dragon tried this one, and she informed me disgustedly that there are imperfections in this world that no crayon can conceal.

The Old Lady and the Purple Dragon both are intrigued by “Pink Truffle Lip Butter.”  It comes as luscious-looking little sticks encased in glittery gold metal containers.  The name alone makes you want to gnaw on one.

The Dragon is saving up for some “Moon Candy Nail Art.”  She’s trying to decide between two colors, Galactic and Cosmic.  Concepts as colors?  The Old Lady wishes she could show up at THAT creative brainstorming meeting with a book on proper English usage in hand.

There’s another line of nail polish with colors called “Let’s Talk” and “Let’s Meet.”  The Old Lady found herself searching the box for the third in that series, to no avail.  Darn.  Maybe “Let’s Hook Up” is kept behind the counter, too.

Some makeup offers a “Natural Look.”  The Old Lady has some advice for you: wash your face and there’s your Natural Look.  Listen to the Old Lady!