The Old Lady filled out a survey.

Several questions focused on “essential workers” during this pandemic.

Employee benefits which most “essential workers” do NOT currently receive were listed: a living wage, healthcare, paid vacation, paid sick days, and the tolerance of absence from work to protect vulnerable family members at home. The question asked, which of these benefits should they receive?

The Old Lady thinks these people deserve ALL of those and more, and said so on the survey.

It got her to thinking: surveys are one way to make your voice heard… but letters are even better!

“If everybody who is bored used a little of their time to write letters to corporations and demand those benefits for the people who are now keeping us at home fed and safe,” mused The Old Lady, “it might mean more than random ‘thank you’ memes posted on Facebook.”

LISTEN to The Old Lady!

Google will give you the addresses, this is just for starters:

McDonald’s

110 North Carpenter Street

One McDonald’s Plaza

Chicago, IL 60607 USA

Walmart

702 S.W. Eighth St.

Bentonville, AR 72716

“So you’ve read about LAUGHTER THERAPY,” giggled The Old Lady, “and if you haven’t, scroll down and do so.
“Sample problem:
You need essentials, you have to go to a store. How do you apply the scientific principles of LAUGHTER THERAPY?
“Answer:
“As you drive to the store, LAUGH. Make yourself laugh out loud, and do it long enough to feel really silly.
“NOW you have released endorphins, oxytocin, and other feel-good enzymes naturally produced by your body,” lectured The Old Lady, “and you have stimulated your immune systen in advance of possible exposure. “
Contains only natural ingredients so it doesn’t discount viagra no prescription cause serious side effects. It has proved safe and effective in enabling men achieve and maintain the hard and long lasting erections needed for fulfilling sexual acts in the bed. cialis on line It resulted in a lower International Prostate Symptom Score (IPSS), which is used to measure the severity of the disease through television advertising, etc. cost cialis viagra Proper Usage Tadalista should be used as directly by your doctor. levitra on line sales LISTEN to The Old Lady!

The WiFi where The Old Lady is sheltering in place is spotty, so residents go to the local library to access the internet.

The Old Lady trudged to the library with her laptop and noticed cars in the parking lot even though the library is closed.

As she drew closer she saw that each car held a single person, and each person was sitting with head bowed…

“For one mad moment I thought they were praying!” exclaimed The Old Lady. “But of course they were staring at their phones…”

“And the people bowed and prayed

To the neon god they made…”

– Paul Simon

(go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk7RVw3I8eg

to hear The Old Lady’s preferred emphasis on the phrase)

“Continuing our previous lesson…” The Old Lady droned on, “What’s that, what previous lesson? Scroll down, all previous lessons are there in reverse chronological order… go ahead, we’ll wait.”

The Old Lady tapped her foot impatiently as she hummed the music from Jeopardy.

“Back so soon? Did you really read it?” The Old Lady glared over her glasses.

“Continuing, then. Lesson one: laughter is good for you. Lesson two: healthy benefits come from both real and forced laughter.

“Lesson three – and HERE’S the key – to get those healthy benefits you have to DO it, that is, LAUGH.

“NOW.

“And OFTEN.

“That’s why it’s called a spiritual practice,” laughed The Old Lady. “You practice and practice because you’ll never reach perfection.”

LAUGH with The Old Lady!

When Social Distancing deteriorates into “Get outta my damn face!” you know it’s time for… LAUGHTER THERAPY!

Laughter therapy, you ask?

Yes, LAUGHTER THERAPY!

This amazing technique lifts your mood instantly, anytime, anywhere.

No batteries required.

AND… it’s absolutely FREE!

What is this amazing technique, you ask?

“We are working with two scientific principles,” lectured The Old Lady. “Number one: laughter is good for your health. Google that if you must; there are numerous studies to support it.

“Number two… and HERE’S the secret: in regard to those health benefits, your body recognizes NO DIFFERENCE between laughter in response to humor and so-called fake or forced laughter.

“The bottom line is that the very act of laughing boosts our immune systems.

“And couldn’t we all use a boost to our immune systems right now?” demanded The Old Lady. “Make mine a DOUBLE!”

LISTEN to The Old Lady!

“I eat a lot of beans,” confessed The Old Lady redundantly.
“My favorites are the dark red kidney beans.
“As a child whenever offered the Southern classic Three Bean Salad I picked out the dark red kidney beans just like picking the peanuts out of the Party Mix.
“We now know that the darkest colored beans are the most nutritious.
“How interesting if we ranked human beans in the same manner. “
LISTEN to The Old Lady!