The Old Lady came out of the woods briefly to stay in a house which had a television set.

“Haven’t seen one of these in several months,” mused The Old Lady, remote in hand, “let’s see what everybody’s watching.”

As she browsed through the channels her eyeballs and psyche were assaulted by an unending stream of arguments and violence, both real and staged.

She felt her tension rise… until she turned the TV off, and peace settled in. Turning the TV on felt like trying to drink from a firehose… too much too fast, and painful besides.

“If you are suffering from anxiety and fear, try this experiment yourself,” prescribed The Old Lady. “Just turn your TV off for one whole day and see if you feel better. The one thing TV is best at transmitting is fear, but the remote is in your hand. Control that one-eyed beast, and take back control of your soul.”

LISTEN to The Old Lady!

“One of the weirder creatures on this planet,” opined The Old Lady, “is the Walking Stick Bug.

“These animated twiglets are common, yet so perfectly camouflaged that they are seldom noticed until they leave their tree.

“Walking Stick Bugs can’t hurt you. They eat only tree leaves and rely on their camouflage to escape notice by predators which doesn’t always work as they are an important food source for birds and other wildlife.

“If you are lucky enough to see a Walking Stick Bug,” counseled The Old Lady, “nod and speak, and walk on by.”

“Before I headed to the hills,” reminisced The Old Lady, “I was swimming every day, a great workout.
“The Toccoa River is near my camp, but it is much too full and fast for swimming.
“So I walk, up and down hills, and maximize my workout by changing the way I walk, in order to use different muscles: sometimes I prowl like Groucho Marx, sometimes I stalk like those Avatar creatures.
“It’s like that Monty Python skit about the Ministry of Silly Walks,” giggled The Old Lady.
“Funny walking not only exercises the muscles, it stimulates laughter and we all know how important THAT is.”
LISTEN to The Old Lady!

Stopped by
To fuss at me
With her fizzy little voice
Not really scolding
More a grating greeting remark
From the tulip poplar sapling
Near the porch.
She came back
Perched on the mossy base
Of Dancing Bear’s white oak
Crept around the tree
Peeking out at me.
Curiosity killed the cat
But satisfaction brought it back
As an inquisitive Carolina wren.

On Tyranny by Timothy Snyder may be the most relevant book you read this year… IF you will read it.

Snyder documents and explicates successful fascist propaganda techniques drawn from the example of Nazi Germany, all of which you will recognize in the current situation in the USA… IF you are paying attention.

“Just read the damn book! It’s short!” snapped The Old Lady, frustrated at the dismay most people display when asked to actually READ a BOOK.

“And read it soon… IF they haven’t already burned this book.”

LISTEN to The Old Lady!

Matthew 11:15 – He who has ears to hear, let him hear.

“If you are living in a tent for more than a weekend,” lectured The Old Lady airily, “you must attend to tent maintenance.

“Even the most well-made tents need to be emptied and aired out from time to time. When possible, I like to spread out my tent and sleeping bag in direct sunlight, and keep turning everything every which way to expose all surfaces to the solar rays.

“Sunshine is the best sanitizing agent available to us, and it’s FREE!” exulted The Old Lady. “Don’t let it go to waste!”

LISTEN to The Old Lady!

When learning to forage for wild food plants it is helpful to think of your own body as a laboratory, a lab of one.
Every meal is a scientific experiment.
Beyond the gathering and the cooking of the plants – both fraught adventures – there are many observations to be made.
How does it taste? How does it feel in your gut? How do you feel an hour after eating… and most importantly, how do you feel the next day?
“Foraging takes mindful eating to a new level, ” opined The Old Lady as she thoughtfully chewed a bit of dandelion. “Better living through chemistry!”
LISTEN to The Old Lady!