Dragons seldom shop for sox, since they much prefer flying to walking.
“But when I saw these baby purple dragon sox, I had to have them,” gushed the Purple Dragon.
“I ordered five pair, so when the package came I felt fully stocked with sox and that’s such good thing I had to sing:
🎶
“No lox on the box, that’s a good thing;
and a dragon with a box of sox
is better than than a fox with a box of rox!”
🎶
“Silly song, I know, but new sox are as worthy of celebration as any other good thing.

“Celebrate today!”
LISTEN to the Purple Dragon!

Prey immobilized.
The Purple Dragon hovered over the cowering victim, fresh rivulets of red trickling from toothy jaws…
“Calm down, it’s a watermelon!” snapped PD. “I am a plant based dragon. This is how dragons eat watermelon:
“Room temp, slice in half, dig chunks out with a spoon and eat over the sink.
“Yes, it’s messy,” admitted PD, “but at least dragons are too polite to spit seeds. “

Flipping through the channels while TCM hawks wine and moviewear during intermission, the Purple Dragon finally found something good.
“The Food That Built America!” exulted PD. “The History Channel usually features Ancient Aliens and UnXplained junk science, but this program is solid information.
“The stories of how name-brand manufactured foods were developed and marketed reveal a lot about American culture.
“Of course these reenactments of events focus on conflict (what is it with you humans, that you do so love fights?).
“But the facts show that most corporations were founded on greed, theft, and betrayal.”
PD shifted to a more comfortable seat on the sofa.
“An entire economy based on extracting every last dollar from one’s neighbors, by any means necessary.
“Living with each other, you humans don’t need any other predators. “

“The Old Lady wouldn’t watch television,” reminisced the Purple Dragon while flipping through Basic Cable channels, “Said she was in recovery from a career in TV news.”
Dragons love TV… when they can find something other than cop shows, infomercials, and contentious reality programs.
“Mostly it comes down to Turner Classic Movies,” sighed PD.
“Vintage b&w films seem more soothing than stimulating, more embracing than the frontal assault of digital color media.
“Because b&w is never really black or white.
“It’s all shades of gray.”

“Dragons dislike explosions,” explained the Purple Dragon, “although we do not panic like pets, birds, and humans who suffer PTSD.
“Americans spend more than 2 Billion dollars a year for fireworks, more than the annual defense budgets of many small countries.
“Even as humans complain about soaring gas prices and runaway inflation, they are expected to shell out about a Billion dollars for recreational munitions this 4th of July weekend.
“A BILLION dollars… up in smoke.
“Enjoy the show.”

“Humans do the strangest things,” observed the Purple Dragon.
“For example: water. Freely flowing from springs and streams, filling up wells, falling from the sky.
Yet Americans spend more than 30 billion dollars a year for water packaged in environmentally damaging containers.
Today the drugstore is selling little personal spraycans of oxygen.
Air!
They’re selling air, also packaged in environmentally damaging containers.
For $7, the can offers ‘Up to 60 One-Second Inhalations’ infused with peppermint scent to help in ‘restoring and uplifting the body’.
At $7 a minute, a year’s supply comes to about 3.7 Million dollars!
And that’s without the Sales Tax.”

Hey ho, Purple Dragon here.
What’s that you say?
Where’s The Old Lady?
Um… I ate her.
It was an accident, really, and besides that I didn’t mean to, it’s just that there was cake and snacks, and dragons are always hungry…
I did it, and I said I was sorry.
So there.
Maybe it’s for the best, maybe it’s time for some changes around here, maybe it’s time for the dragon’s eye view…
Maybe more purple in this prose.