Ethical foraging demands that the forager take no more than she needs for her next meal. This rule shows both consideration for other foragers who may follow, and faith in the continuing abundance of food offered by Mother Nature. Greens, whether wild or domesticated, are measured in “messes” with “a mess of greens ” being defined as “however many can be consumed at this meal”. The exact amount, therefore, is contingent on the number of people at the table. “Enough is enough, ” belched The Old Lady, full as a fat tick. “Foraging is like preaching. It’s important to know HOW, but you must also know WHEN to stop.” LISTEN to The Old Lady!
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The Old Lady has a new job. She is now Artist in Residence and Guest Blogger at Fox Mountain Campground and Artist Retreat. For her first project as Guest Blogger she is moving her tent from campsite to campsite, reviewing each one both for ambiance and for practical matters like HOW FAR IS THE BATHROOM? and HOW FAR DO I HAVE TO HAUL MY STUFF? That sort of information. “Come along with me for a guided tour of Fox Mountain Campground and Artist Retreat, ” puffed The Old Lady as she dragged her stuff up a hill. “Vicarious camping is better than no camping at all.” LISTEN to The Old Lady!
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The Old Lady is not the only forager in this neck of the woods, just the clumsiest. Noisy, too; just ask Blue Jay. On a sunny hillside she stumbled upon dramatic evidence of predation: Turtle had laid her eggs in a hole in the ground but Raccoon had dug up the nest and devoured the eggs, leaving an empty hole and empty eggshells. “Some days you are the raccoon, ” observed The Old Lady sagely, “and some days you are the turtle egg.” LISTEN to The Old Lady!
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“Juneberries in July!” marveled The Old Lady, “what a miracle!” She picked a double handful of the tiny berries and headed back to camp. Boiling the berries in water caused each little fruit to burst and release the tart, deep purple pulp. Adding a pinch of file’ (more about that later) thickened the pulpy liquid. “Delicious!” declared The Old Lady as she spread some on a cracker, “July is the perfect time for Juneberry Jam!”
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“Foraging for food is fine, ” stated The Old Lady, “but plants have many uses… “Take, for example elderflowers. “Take a handful of elderflowers. Steep them in gin for a few days, and the clear liquid turns into a honey-gold colored syrupy solution which is lovely chilled and served neat or mixed with tonic water. “But, BEWARE! Elderflowers pack a powerful medicinal punch. Specifically, this infusion promotes sweating… and the effects, although brief, are intense. “Woof!” barked The Old Lady, mopping her brow along with everything else, “Good medicine for breaking a fever, I’m thinking.” LISTEN to The Old Lady!
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Foraging offers opportunities to learn mindfulness. You must pay total attention to the task at hand, first focusing on seeing and identifying ALL of the plants near your feet, your non-moving feet. Foraging is most efficiently done at a snail’s pace. Take your time, admire the beauty of the plants, observe where and how they grow. “Slow down,” counseled The Old Lady, “and foraging will feed more than just your tummy. “ LISTEN to The Old Lady!
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When The Old Lady found berries that she did not recognize, she proceeded with caution. Applying the Universal Edibility Test she squeezed juice from one of the ripened fruits and touched it to her tongue and lips. After waiting a period of time for any tingling or burning sensations (DANGER signals from the body), she ate one berry and waited again. While she was waiting she consulted her guidebooks and identified her discovery as Juneberries. The red ones caught her eye in the woods, but only the dark purplish-black ones are ripe and sweet and delicious. “Patience is the key to foraging,” lectured The Old Lady through a mouthful of juicy berries, “if one intends to LIVE off the land rather than DIE on it.” LISTEN to The Old Lady!
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“Blackberries!” exclaimed The Old Lady. “How I love them!”
Born and raised in the state of Georgia The Old Lady only eats blackberries smack in the middle of summer, straight from the thorny canes, as God intended.
So just imagine her utter delight when she discovered a patch of BIG, juicy berries (not the little squinky ones), a forager’s dream come true!
As she carefully plucked the glossy fruits (OW!) she noticed a path through the brambles. While savoring a mouthful of bursting over-ripe purple drupes she squatted down… and she could see where the canes had been broken off and smashed under the overhanging briars… a clear path cut through the center of the thorny patch…
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Bears love blackberries.
“I left,” said The Old Lady prudently. “I had enough berries.”
The Old Lady is not just living ON the land, she is living OFF the land by honing her foraging skills.
Wild greens such as broadleaf plantain, dandelion, violet, clover, and lamb’s-quarters, when properly cooked and seasoned, provide a tasty dish all by themselves.
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Or, you can combine them with something like leftover spicy black beans and eat the whole mess on blue corn chips with hot sauce and a can of beer freshly chilled in the creek.
“I always loved the Beans and Greens at Cracker Barrel,” The Old Lady said with a satisfied sigh, “but Beans and Weeds tastes even better, and is WILDly more nutritious.”
In the interest of protecting public health The Old Lady took social distancing to a whole new level.
She retreated into the woods for the duration, in a remote location that she refuses to divulge for any amount of money…
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“Wait a dadgum minute!” interrupted The Old Lady. “ANY amount of money??? Perhaps for the RIGHT amount of money I might be persuaded…”
